There is a new love in my life. He’s about two feet tall. He can’t speak yet, but when he looks at me and smiles, I’m quite certain he’s saying “I love you too.” He’s my son and there are moments when I’m rocking him in my arms and he wraps his tiny fingers around mine that I am completely overwhelmed and almost a little scared by how much I love him.
Our society has trivialized love to the point of making it almost meaningless. We have reduced it to nothing more than fleshly instinct, insatiable lust, and a high of warm and fuzzy feelings. Motherhood is teaching me that real love is made of much weightier stuff. To really, truly love someone is a burden.
I have a vision for my son’s life, things I will hope he will learn and do along with things I hope he will not do. There are pitfalls and painful experiences I pray he will avoid, but I am not naive enough to think that all of this will work out as I plan. He will encounter struggles. He will make mistakes and get hurt. He will probably even hurt me. He could reject my faith and in so doing, reject life and salvation. His life could even end early and so bring tragedy and sorrow to mine. You see, love makes us vulnerable. It can be painful and costly.
At times I’ve wondered why God created mankind knowing all along how they would reject him and the pain it would cause him, how He would have to suffer for them. I can’t pretend to know God’s mind, but I think I understand it a little now. Even though I realize how loving my son could bring me pain, I know I would never want to erase his life to avoid it. Knowing him and loving him is an unqualified good.
I think that’s how God feels about His children. He created us even knowing all that we would do because he delighted in mankind. Burdened by love, He became the most vulnerable thing on earth: a baby. Though we rejected Him, He embraced pain and sorrow to save us. His love for His children cost Him his life.
So when I look at my son, I know I’m in this all the way. Whatever it takes, I pray I can love him as Christ has loved me, embracing the pain as well as the joy, counting the cost as well as the blessing. I pray I will carry my burden well.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” -1 John 3:16