When I was a kid, I decided to grow an apple tree. I munched on an apple snack and then pulled the seeds out and held them in my palm. I was enchanted by the idea of a tree springing from the tiny thing in my hand. So, I took my little seed outside and buried it by my tree house. Filled with childlike faith and ignorant of the process of germination, I watered it a few times fully expecting it to spring up and have apples before too long. Nothing happened.
Maybe growing trees wasn’t so easy, I concluded, my faith in seeds a little dimmed.
Fast forward thirty-some years to my daughter eating her own apple. I noticed that a few of the seeds actually had a small sprout coming out. We had a seed planter from our bean project last year… It couldn’t hurt to try. I buried the seed in the planter and watered it faithfully. A little green sprout emerged…and then another.
My kids got excited checking on them every day. I found myself getting excited too. They were growing. Those little seeds were producing something.
“When will the apples come?” My four-year-old asked. I laughed and told him that it would take a lot more time for there to be apples. “It’s just a tiny plant. It has to do a lot of growing to become a tree.” His faith in seeds was strong. His understanding of the long process of becoming a tree was a little lacking.
I began to realize that I had pretty much exhausted my own knowledge of growing things. I am not a plant person. I have a few potted ones that were gifted to me that I am fairly proud I have managed not to kill. What did I do now? I asked a friend who told me this groundbreaking advice: move them to a bigger pot. Yes, sensei.
Simple enough, but I’ll admit, I hesitated. Was it really worth the trouble? They’ll probably just die. What did I think? They would actually grow to become trees someday? But I went ahead and bought the pots, the soil, and carefully transported them. I took a step of faith. Maybe they will die…but maybe…they won’t. Maybe they’ll keep growing.
I wrote about the metaphor of a seed and growth and harvest in my book Majoring in Motherhood. I named this newsletter Rooted because of one of my favorite verses in Jeremiah 17. I’ve spoken to mothers a lot in the last year about the marathon of motherhood, the faith it takes to sow seeds in our children and wait for them to bear fruit.
Somewhere along the way though, I’d say my faith in seeds has dimmed a little. I’ve felt a little like my child self, watering bare earth and then feeling disappointed when nothing happened. I’ve felt a little like my son, disappointed to hear this fruit he was promised is going to take so much longer than he expected.
If I had to pick a word for how I’ve felt in parenting lately, the one that keeps springing to mind is “beleaguered.” I’m weary from trying to parent many children, all with different personalities and struggles. I’m discouraged often that there hasn’t been breakthrough in some of those struggles. I’ve felt hopeless as I’ve planted and watered gospel seeds that haven’t sprung up yet. I’ve feared they’ll lie dormant forever like those seeds still buried somewhere in my childhood yard.
My husband and I visited with an older couple, looking for some parenting wisdom. She talked to me about how as a homeschool mom, she learned what it meant to do things by faith. She’d tell the Lord, “By faith, I’ll lead this Bible lesson.. By faith, I’ll talk to this kid. By faith, I’ll teach them this memory verse.” She told me how the Lord used it all even when it didn’t seem like it at the moment.
I needed to hear it. I’ve lacked faith. I’ve lacked trust. I’ve forgotten that some seeds really do grow.
The funny thing is we don’t really do that much. We can’t take credit. I didn’t make the apple seed sprout. I didn’t and can’t make them keep growing. I just keep taking steps of faith.
Maybe that’s all God asks of us in parenting too. Just keep planting. Just keep watering. Just keep taking steps of faith. And then, sit back and see what He does with it all.
Seeds don’t come with a guarantee though do they? And maybe that’s what we want, a formula for it all: seeds=trees=fruit. But Jesus told that parable for a reason. Some fall on bad soil and they really never sprout. Some sprout quickly and then are choked out and wither. But some…some really do produce a harvest.
We just don’t know what our seeds will do.
Maybe it’s not just about the seeds or the fruit though. Maybe parenting isn’t just about our kids. Maybe there’s something important happening within us as we sow and water and tend. Perhaps we need to recapture the wonder of new life for ourselves, to marvel that we were once just seeds and God began a good work in us that he promises to bring to completion. Perhaps there’s a little sermon being preached from my pots. A seed fallen and buried and resurrected. Life from death. Fruit from faithfulness.
I may never have apple trees and we may not always get the fruit we want in parenting. Certainly, I’m learning we won’t always get it on our timetable. I wish seeds came with guarantees. God does give us some guarantees though, just not guarantees for our own plans and work, but guarantees for His. His plans are never thwarted. His work always produces what He purposes. He will always bring it to completion.
We can be sure that parenting by faith will do something in us, that He will grow us and make us–rooted.
The Motherhood Marathon 